There are countless stories we hear every single day about miracles taking place from back in scripture times to current day in our own lives. From the time we are old enough to talk we are taught about the "miracles" in the scriptures - healing the sick, parting the red sea, feeding thousands with 2 loaves of bread & few fish, and saving Daniel from the lion's den. You could go on and on about the many miraculous miracles that God has preformed throughout the years.
Over the past couple months, I have found myself questioning and asking Heavenly Father, "Where was our miracle?" "Are we not important enough in God's eye that we didn't deserve a miracle?" "Were we not faithful or prayerful enough for a miracle to happen?"
Of course neither of those are true. I know Heavenly Father loves each of us all the same, and none is more important than the other. We were more than faithful during our trial, and I know the Lord recognized our efforts. We were in constant prayer since the day we found out about Tytan's heart condition. For the 2 1/2 months we spent fighting in the hospital, we were fasting at least every other day. We did everything we could. Tytan had a priesthood blessing daily. We had the faith, and we just KNEW he would be healed. We had multiple family fast, a community wide fast, and people from all over the world were praying and pleading for our little guys life to be saved, but why wasn't it?
This past month in our own little community we have witnessed a miraculous miracle. A sweet little girl had a drowning accident and went 30+ minutes without oxygen, and she has had an incredible recovery thus far. I don't know the full details, but she doesn't have near the damage they thought she would, and she is expected to make a full recovery. How awesome is that? I love hearing about these types of miracles, but I would be a liar if I didn't admit it pulls at my heart string, and I once again wonder "why not us?"
After many many nights on my knees, praying, and reading the Book of Mormon I had come to an understanding of why not us. It comes down to "It wasn't part of the plan" That itself is a miracle in my eye that the Lord loves and cares about each one of us so much that he has carefully sought out a plan for each and every one of us. No two plans are the same or I personally believe no two plans are fair. Before we came to the Earth in the Pre-existence I think each one of us helped design our plan. That may seem crazy talk to some, and you might be thinking "I definitely didn't agree to this". But I truly believe each one of us had agency and made choices before we were born just like we do now. Tytan made the choice to be the one in our family to pave the way. He knew it wasn't going to be easy, but he agreed to come down here for a short time and return home. Jordan and I agreed to be the parents of an absolute PERFECT child and knew we would have to pay the price of letting him return home early. Azleigh made the choice to come here and be the strong spirit she is to keep her parents going and be a light to us on the darkest of days. Do we remember any of this? Absolutely not. That is what the veil is for. But there is one guy who does and remembers ALL of it. He knows the big picture - the big plan. Did we know it was going to be this hard? To be honest, I don't think we did, but that is where faith comes in. We must have the faith in "the plan" to be strong enough to keep going, to not allow ourselves to get angry & hate God. God doesn't not perform miracles or give us trials to punish us. If we use these trials in the right way, they strengthen us. They strengthen others. They teach us. They prepare us for the things to take place in the future and the here-after. We can choose to let our life experiences make us bitter or better.
The more I pondered about the "miracles" in our life, especially in the past year I realized yes "Tytan wasn't raised from the dead" or "Yes Tytan's brain wasn't miraculously healed from all the lack of oxygen", and "No Tytan didn't received a new heart to keep him alive" but GUESS WHAT? We witnessed more miracles in Tytan's 6 months of life than some do in an entire lifetime. The first miracle was that Tytan lived as long as he did, thanks to God's Miracles workers who truly do perform miracles at Primary Children's hospital. It was a miracle that we as a family ever got to bring Tytan home from the hospital. It was a miracle that Tytan was able to spend 2 months at home completely TUBE FREE! It was a miracle I got to see Tytan smile and giggle. We witnessed a miracle when all odds were against us and Tytan came off both ECMO and the ventilator. It was a miracle Tytan's little body declared itself, and we as parents didn't have to make the choice to "pull the plug". It's a miracle Jordan worked for Vernal City who never let him miss a day of pay whether he was there or not, and a community that didn't even know us but did more for us "strangers" than I could dream. It's a miracle we had the support system we did and still have that have blessed our lives in more ways can we can count. It's a miracle that a boy with such a small little body could change so many lives in such a short amount of time. We received many miracles after all didn't we?
I think sometimes as humans we take the everyday miracles for granted. We forget just how fortunate each of are in the hardest of times. We forget that just because God didn't raise our loved one from the dead that we haven't been granted miracles. EVERY SINGLE DAY IS A MIRACLE. Each of us have different struggles. Each of us live fairly different lives, but no matter how hard you think you have it there is still miracles within your life. Whether you have lost a loved one, gone through a divorce, struggled to have children, or whatever life may have thrown at you sit back and count just all the miracles you have been blessed with. It's a miracle you wake up every morning. It's a miracle you have a job and a home to live in. It's a miracle whether you have a spouse, one child, or multiple children that you have someone to love and come home to at night.
I challenge you next time you are struggling to focus on what you do have rather than what you don't. If you are fed up with your job, consider it a miracle you have one. If you are tired of whiny kids, consider them being able to cry a miracle. I have met many parents who have children on ventilators who a crying child would be music to your ears. If you are tired and exhausted of taking care of a sick child, consider it a miracle they are still here with you. Many bereaved parents would give anything to go back to the days of living in the hospital with a sick child. If you think you have it bad, always remember someone else, somewhere out there, probably have it worse than you do.
Lastly, Remember EVERYDAY IS A MIRACLE!!
You are such an inspiration Teish. Thank you for sharing. Everyone needs to hear these words.
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