The Funeral

       The viewing and funeral and the week leading up the funeral was an out of body experience for me. I truly felt like I was a fly on a wall watching this bad dream for our family. It didn't seem real, and I felt like I was watching a sad, sad movie. This movie was different. It was my family as the movie cast, not just some strangers. And this movie wasn't just a story being acted out. It was real. This was now our reality. And in just a few short hours we would be telling our precious baby boy goodbye for the last time here on earth. I was amazed by the love and support we received from so many friends and family. We had friends from all over attend Tytan's services, and I can't begin to tell you what it meant to have them there. Of course, it didn't take the pain away, not even a little, but it felt good to know they cared. It felt good to know we mattered in their lives. 

      I remember during the viewings, I couldn't keep my eyes and hands off my baby boy. I just wanted to pick him up and run. He couldn't really be gone. He was too young. He was too perfect. Saturday morning, I was hoping time would just stand still. The second viewing started at 9:30 AM, and it was a constant line for the hour & a half we were there. I remember I kept watching the clock praying it would just go slower, so I didn't have to EVER wrapped up my precious boy and close the casket with his tiny body here on earth. The funeral director cut off the line and told us we needed to prepare to say our goodbyes, so we could start the funeral on time. Our family went first. My parents and brothers are very close to my kids, so it broke my heart to see their hearts breaking as they kissed their grandson/nephew. Then came the moment I dreaded for days. I laid my head on his small little chest and sobbed. I wanted so badly to hear a beating heart, but I couldn't and knew it wouldn't. I remember kissing his soft sweet lips and peace came over me. I vividly heard a voice in head. To be honest it was a voice I didn't recognize, but by what was said I knew it was my Tytie boy. I heard, "Don't cry mommy. I'm okay now. I promise you will see me soon" At that moment I was once again reassured and testified to that I would see my little boy again. He's not gone forever. Soon-- I'm not sure if that means months, 5 years, or 80 + years until I see him, but I know in the eternal realm of things no matter how long it is, or how long it seems, it will be soon. I look forward to that day every moment of every day. I dream of that day. O what a glorious day it will be.

     No funeral is ever good or easy, but I must say Tytan's turned out perfect. It was just what I wanted it to be. Our little Az and nieces and nephews sang so cute. The speakers did an incredible job. My humble husband was so sweet reading his only son's life sketch and carrying his sweet little casket to his resting spot. I know Tytan was there. I know Tytan approved and was proud. Tytan was happy with the way he valiant, short, and nothing but perfect little life was celebrated. 

Here is a link to a video of Tytan's Special Services - Tytan's Life Celebration