MRI Results

Today has to be the second worst day I've had in the hospital. I feel like I have been kicked, beat to pieces, then stuffed in the trash. Yesterday Tytan went down for an MRI and well today we have the results. This morning Sal, the ICU attending, came and talked to me and said the images aren't very good but not to lose hope. He wanted to warn me before everything was slammed on me at once. The meeting was set for 12:30 and we would have Jordan on a conference call, so he could hear everything as well.

I guess you can say I'm either in denial or have ALOT of hope, but reality is really trying to bring me down.

We met with neurologists today and Tytans MRI results are devastating! That perfect little brain of his has taken a hit, a very hard hit:( The damage and hemrige on his brain is much much worse than what we expected. What does that mean? That's the worst part. We don't know. The images show his quality of life won't be much at all, but miracles happen and I feel he is a miracle! They mentioned things today like never walk, never talk, never eat, blind in one eye, cognitive thinking, etc. I'm trying not to listen to it. I'm choosing to listen to The Lord and have faith! I have faith that Tytan will prove them all wrong, and I'm already looking forward to the day when I bring him back in here walking. I know it's not going to be easy, but I so worth it! 

Today I am angry for the first time being here. I know they didn't but I feel like THEY did this to my perfect boy. I handed over a happy baby to a team of surgeons and 9 1/2 hours later we received a boy with all this. I don't love him any less and I will take care of him NO MATTER what his condition is, but really wasn't his heart issues enough?? Please pray for him, pray for me. Pray for me to understand & to forgive.