Today is always the hardest day of the month. A day that I
should be celebrating my baby growing one month older, but instead it's a day I
have to get through knowing I've been away from my baby boy another month. The
only good thing about another month passing is knowing I'm that much closer to
seeing this sweet smile again. Instead of waking up to a smile- I have to go to
a cemetery to his "special spot" As time goes on, I hurt more, days
get harder, multiple questions arise, & I can't help but wonder "who'd
he be today?" There is nothing harder for a grieving mother than watching
every other mother experience those milestones except for you. It kills me to
know he would most likely at this time saying mama, close to taking his first
steps, and still head over hills for his sister. It still feels like I'm living
someone else's nightmare that I should be waking up out of. I miss my baby. I
miss everything about him. There are no words to describe what I'd give to have
him in my arms, but I know I must be patient for the day will come, and the
reward in Heaven will be far greater than they are here. As hard as it is, the
closer I bring myself to thee- the closer I am to my only son! I love you so
much little man & think of you every moment of everyday! Happy 11 Months
Old!! :)
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